Mumming by Constance Hall

Mum and baby

I loved this post by Constance Hall- it’s from January 2017 but just read it and feel it captures the essence of what we all go through on the Mumming journey!

Welcome to Mumming.

You are going to love it.

Just a couple of things…

You’ll start work at 5.30am and finish at…… hang on we’ll come back to this one.

You definitely get a lunch break, most of us like to take roughly 3 seconds to stuff kids left overs into our mouths on their way to the bin. Great for the waist line.. well..


Holidays? Of course you get holidays. Only you must work harder then usual, kids leave their routines at home, partners need to relax and “unwind” after all the hard work they did to pay for this trip. Have fun!!!

We believe health is the foundations of all good parenting, so if you are sick please take the time and consideration to pretend you’re not. And continue holding the house together, for the greater health… of your family.

Mental health. We’ve found that a lot of new mums find this 20 year commitment daunting. We struggle to understand why, but if you do need some assistance in the mental health sector you are welcome to take it… just don’t tell anyone…. we may have to resort to labelling you as someone who didn’t take to mumming naturally, which may lead to the label ‘not coping’ which could then lead to the label ‘lost the plot’

Your performance will be rated by the one thing you have little control over, your baby, child and partners behaviour in public.

Overtime? We don’t like our mums to call it over time, we like them to call it ‘family time’ the time the family gets to present you with complaints while you are trying to shit or sleep or pay a bill on the internet.

Don’t forget your new uniform. This ripped up top with spaghetti marks that you are pretty sure you mopped piss with last week and a pair of baggy stained undies with pubes sticking out of them.

Oh and one more thing, just prepare yourself for a bunch of royal fuck wits to ask you what you do all day.


And don’t forget to be above all else… #blessed.

If you have any further queries, don’t bother complaining. We will only label you ungrateful.